Tender Mercies

Dear Mom of the screaming child, Nobody wants to be "that" mom, the mom who receives all the questioning looks from strangers sitting in too close proximity for real comfort. Airplane rides are hard with children, especially when they are crying, but most especially when they are screaming. This is a letter to you, to let you know that you are not alone and that I have been there too.  I sat in the window seat, my seven month old daughter screaming in my arms. She didn't want to nurse. She didn't want her toy. The scene out the window wasn't distracting her either. She was just sad! And so was I. Tears streamed down my face as I thought of the innocent passengers next to, in front of, and behind me. They didn't know they would be stuck next to a mom and her baby when they prepared to board their flight. We all paid the same price for our tickets and we all deserved to have a peaceful flight. But there was nothing I could do to sooth my baby girl...

Dear Adelai, Half a year has passed since you miraculously joined our family Earth-side.  You arrived with the promise of spring, and now autumn is upon us.  How quickly the seasons change; how quickly you have grown. Time flies by so rapidly that it is a shame to spend any of those precious hours worrying about how we measure up to others. I find it easy to wonder if you are reaching your milestones "on time" or if you "keeping up" with the other babies your age, especially with the rampant posts on social media that keep everyone in the know about everyone's lives. I value the use our technology gives us, but I constantly remind myself that you are you and whether or not you are "keeping up" doesn't matter. It doesn't change my value as a mother, nor does it say whether or not I am raising you as I should.  Adelai, I want you to be true to yourself and to God. Be a woman of integrity, someone people can trust. You are a good baby...

As a young girl living in Japan, I remember my parents going out one day and picking up some free desks that someone was giving away to be used in our home. I thought they were the coolest desks, and enjoyed using mine all the way through high school. These hand-me-down desks weren't the fanciest, nor were they on the front cover of Better Homes and Gardens magazine, but they were sturdy, functional, and didn't put a big dent in the budget, if at all. And that's how I remember growing up. We almost always had second hand or homemade furniture, and my parents didn't buy a brand new sectional for their living room until they had been married for nearly 30 years. My parents taught me that money is better spent on wise investments, service, and family vacations.  And so I suppose this thrifty mindset is in my blood.  Adelai was so generously gifted with an entire wardrobe of clothing for the first 12 months, and 2/3rds of the clothes are second-hand, which I apprec...

Dear Adelai, Your 4th month has been the most difficult month for me as a new mom. It was as though the honeymoon stage of having a small little newborn, where meals were brought over from welcoming friends and the social acceptance of mommy naps, was over.  I was exhausted. The accumulation of three months jam-packed with round-the-clock nursing sessions, wiping up spit up, doing yet another load of laundry, and trying to figure out how to balance motherhood with my own autonomy was taking its toll. When you were first born, I took advantage of your naps and aimed for 2 naps a day myself. But this past month those naps slowly stopped becoming a priority because I felt like I "needed" to get things done while you slept. You were "supposed" to be sleeping through the night by 3 months, or so the baby sleep "experts" claimed, as long as I was being efficient with our sleep routine. Consistency, they said, was key. So I tried to be consistent.  But y...

4,500 miles. 12 days. Kansas to California.  When we mentioned that we were going to take our 10 week old baby on a road trip out to the Bay Area in California, we received many strange looks and opinions from others regarding our pending trip. My husband and I had already driven the ALCAN from Alaska to Kansas in 2014 , so we were ready to take on another road trip, this time with baby in tow.  My goal for our trip was to pack all of our meals while on the road so that we wouldn't have to eat out during the long days of driving. We were blessed to stay the nights at friends' and family's homes and to receive of their hospitality, which made meal planning a little easier. I have shared what meals we ate during the trip below. I learned so much from traveling with a breastfed infant and hopefully this post will help me remember what worked well for our next adventure (mommy brain is a real thing). Tips for Traveling With an Infant: Sit in the backsea...