Tender Mercies

...or so I thought. And you did too. Happy April Fools Day! I had been having baby dreams and feeling nauseous on and off during spring break, and I knew I would test immediately when I returned home from our road trip. The test was barely visible and I didn't believe it, so I said nothing to Marshall. That night I had a dream where the next pregnancy test I took was a solid double line. Well, two days after the first test, I got my obvious positive. I was so excited. Not knowing if it would be a good pregnancy or not, I tested again two days later and the line was darker, so I felt confident.  The past two pregnancies I miscarried at approximately 6 or 7 weeks both times, so I was pretty nervous about this one. What if it happened again? Would I be strong enough? Knowing that I needed extra strength and prayers, I asked roughly 40 of our family and closest friends to fast and pray with us on Easter Sunday. That Sunday I was on the top of the world. I felt so strong an...

The stereotypical yoga image is a tall, slender woman, wearing revealing clothing while balancing in some outrageously impossible pose, or some old guru sitting in a cross-legged position in deep meditation. Luckily this isn't the case, for I will be the first to admit that I have practiced yoga in my pajamas and I'm still working on those ridiculously hard poses. Yoga is something that came into my life right when I needed it the most. It was at a time when I had overused my body in excessive exercise, a time when "the blues" were heading towards deep depression. Yoga was a gift from God that helped me dig deep to find my inner beauty. Yoga was a gift that led me to a place where I could connect with a Greater strength than my own. Yoga was a gift that gave me the opportunity to keep moving and strengthening my body when I had to stop all other forms of exercise. Yoga was a gift that has truly altered and shaped my life for the better.  Two years ago I ...

It was as though I clammed up over this past holiday season. Yes, the holidays with family were well spent and enjoyable, however, there seemed to be a sense of sadness that I had a difficult time shaking loose. I enjoyed high points every day filled with smiles and laughter, but I was easily shaken to tears and I often sent myself on "time-outs" to have some alone time. When Marshall and I returned home the first week of January, I knew I had to make a change. I couldn't go on in the way that I had been. Everywhere I went I saw pregnant ladies, reminding me of what I wanted so badly and had lost. No, I couldn't break into tears or run away each time I saw a baby bump because let's face it, I am always going to run into lots of pregnant ladies out there and crying is exhausting and I'll have my chance someday. There are people in my life to love, to cherish, to strengthen. How could I do that for people when I myself wasn't willing to accept where ...