Tender Mercies

Dear Adelai, As I compiled your pictures from this past year for your album on the eve of your 2nd birthday, I realized it was impossible to include every one. You are beautiful, sassy, and extremely photogenic. It has been a beautiful year as I've watched you grow. You amaze your Dad every day by how much you love books and recognize and know your ABCs, 123s, and basic colors, and I have to agree with him. I love that you are potty trained both day and night, but unfortunately you haven't learned how to sleep through the night yet.  My favorite thing about you right now is how excited you are to meet your baby brother. You challenge me to be more patient and more loving each day, especially as you've begun to realize your autonomy.  While I am not the perfect mother, Heavenly Father is a perfect father and He will always direct your paths as he has mine. Always trust in Him. We've got this, dear daughter. Together with Heavenly Father, your life will be a...

Dear Adelai, These past 6 months have gone by like a whirlwind. We had a wonderful spring and summer and I loved watching you learn how to run, do somersaults, imitate us doing push-ups, doggie-paddle across the pool*, and most recently--how to go potty on the big girl potty.  There are times when I still want to baby you, but I quickly remember that you DO NOT like being babied. So I have done my best to incorporate daily life into your life too, and not saving all the "mom work" for when you're asleep.  You love to do what we do, be it vacuuming, dusting, washing the dishes, or eating whatever we are eating. When I was deciding when to potty train you, I knew 18 months was so young, but I also knew that you were tired of me pinning you down each time you needed a diaper change. I was tired of it too. That, and I knew you were capable of learning to potty on the toilet. It would just take time.  Pottying her monkey :-) The first 4 da...

Dearest Adelai, 365 days have now passed since your miraculous birth. It was a day that will forever be etched into my mind, with the memories of the painful exhaustion of childbirth becoming more and more fuzzy and somehow, being replaced by the beautiful memories of a newborn. The smell. The tiny body. The clean slate of a new life and endless possibilities. I kind of miss that.  But Grandpa Whipple says that "kids only get better." I would have to agree. You see, I made a collage of my top 8 favorite pictures of you from your first year and half of them are from the last two months. Yes. You only get better.  This first year has been the. most. exhausting. year. of. my. life. It has also been beautiful. When you were first born, I had no idea how to nurse or how to give a baby a bath, nor did I understand the magnitude of how fast a baby grows and develops in the first year of life. You started out as a baby who was completely de...

photo credit: Victor Whipple I was sitting on the couch the other day watching my baby play. She won't be a baby for much longer and I think there is a part of me that is mourning. Toddlerhood is coming towards us like a runaway train. Lately I've noticed some little quirks about my baby and wondered if something was wrong with her.  Is it normal for her to pull at her hair while shes's nursing? Why does she hit herself or bonk her head against the wall (albeit gently)? Why is she grinding her little baby teeth? Why does she have to put EVERYTHING into her mouth?? Shouldn't she have outgrown this by now? As I was thinking all of these things, I realized I didn't want my baby to have any  weaknesses. I didn't want to accept that she would struggle with things or have some silly idiosyncrasies. Why couldn't she just stay by perfect little baby forever?  But isn't that what motherhood is all about? It's about learning to let go ...

Dear Adelai, There is only one month left of you being a baby. I'm starting to see glimpses into your toddler years and it excites and terrifies me at the same time. I've begun thinking about and planning how to wean you. When you were first born, I had the goal of breastfeeding you for a year, but secretly I hoped we could continue longer. You and I have always had a good nursing relationship. I am the only one who can breastfeed you and give you that sort of comfort and I didn't want anyone to take that away. I worked so hard and waited so long to meet you, that I want to hold onto you forever and keep giving you the nourishment of mother's milk and snuggle you against my chest; you won't snuggle otherwise. But I am tired. It's a good tired, but it's still fatigue. And you are growing up. I was torn about when to wean and how to do it. The funny thing about researching a problem and seeking answers is that you can find any  answer you want...

Dear Adelai, It's pretty amazing how much my your aunts and uncles adore you. We spent your first holiday season with your Grandma and Grandpa Whipple and your aunts and uncles on that side of the family. Everyone gave you so much attention, and your Aunt Hannah said that one of the best parts of her trip was kissing the adorable cheeks on the cutest niece ever. Complements like this were constant and it made me feel good to be your mom and to have others love you so much. I hope you can always know you are beautiful! When I was a young girl, maybe around 10 years old, I wrote in my journal that I didn't want to change anything about my body. What freedom it was for me to feel that way! As the years passed, I slowly started to listen to some lies and felt that I needed to change certain aspects of my body. It has been a big work in progress as I have come to love my body unconditionally. I hope you can love yourself throughout your life, and...

Dear Adelai, "Be thankful that you don't already have everything you desire.  If you did, what would there be to look forward to?  Be thankful when you don't know something,  for it gives you the opportunity to learn. Be thankful for the difficult times. During those times you grow.  Be thankful for each new challenge, because it will build your strength and character.  Be thankful for your mistakes, they will teach you valuable lessons.  Be thankful when you're tired and weary, because it means you've made a difference. It is easy to be thankful for the good things.  A life of rich fulfillment comes to those who are also thankful for the setbacks.  Gratitude can turn a negative into a positive.  Find a way to be thankful for your troubles and they can become your blessings." -Anonymous Oh sweet girl, I heard this quote today at the end of my yoga practice and immediately thought of you. You were ...