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Screaming Child on a Plane


Dear Mom of the screaming child,

Nobody wants to be "that" mom, the mom who receives all the questioning looks from strangers sitting in too close proximity for real comfort. Airplane rides are hard with children, especially when they are crying, but most especially when they are screaming. This is a letter to you, to let you know that you are not alone and that I have been there too. 

I sat in the window seat, my seven month old daughter screaming in my arms. She didn't want to nurse. She didn't want her toy. The scene out the window wasn't distracting her either. She was just sad! And so was I. Tears streamed down my face as I thought of the innocent passengers next to, in front of, and behind me. They didn't know they would be stuck next to a mom and her baby when they prepared to board their flight. We all paid the same price for our tickets and we all deserved to have a peaceful flight.

But there was nothing I could do to sooth my baby girl, except to pace up and down the aisle, but we were on take-off and the seat belt light was still till on. They hadn't even brought out the concessions yet, so I knew it would be a while before I could get up. I felt like a terrible mom as I looked at my red-faced girl screaming and trying to squirm out of my arms. I tried to pat her back. I laid her across my lap and stroked her back, soothing her for only a few moments before she became uncomfortable again. I knew I should't cry, for how rational and level headed is a crying mom with a crying baby? So I wiped the tears from my face and tried to breathe. I prayed the young man sitting next to me wouldn't hate me. I was grateful he had packed headphones.

The stewardess came by and asked me if I wanted anything to drink and all I could give her was a shake of the head "no." How in the world would I be able to drink something in an open cup with a screaming child?

Finally, after 40 minutes of pain for all of us, peanuts were handed out and my exhausted baby was distracted by our neighbors and me receiving crinkly wrappers filled with snacks. I immediately gave her my little baggie of unopened peanuts, because for some reason, she loves the crinkly sound that plastic makes. I seized the moment and nursed her, now that she was calm, and she fell asleep almost immediately, the package of peanuts cuddled against her face like it was her security blanket. 

I could finally breathe.

For the next 45 minutes we all had some peace and calm. And I tried to smile. When I got up to use the bathroom, the stewardess was so kind and lovingly held my baby for me.  There was no judgement or stink-eye from her. There were no comments from the other passengers. I had done my best to love and care for my baby, and in the end, she was just a baby.

As we began to descend, I thanked those around me for their patience. I said many silent prayers of gratitude for their kindness towards me and for not making me feel inadequate. Traveling is hard, especially alone, and especially with a child. They will fuss. They will cry. They will scream. And you may feel like the worst mom in the world. But have hope. Express your gratitude to those around you for their kindness and patience. Try to find the humor in things. Remember to breathe.

The plane won't stay up in the air forever and your sweet baby will be happy again.
You're a good mom.

With love,
A mom of a screaming baby


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