Dear Adelai |12 Months| : Perfection Is Still Pending

Dearest Adelai,

365 days have now passed since your miraculous birth. It was a day that will forever be etched into my mind, with the memories of the painful exhaustion of childbirth becoming more and more fuzzy and somehow, being replaced by the beautiful memories of a newborn. The smell. The tiny body. The clean slate of a new life and endless possibilities.

I kind of miss that. 

But Grandpa Whipple says that "kids only get better." I would have to agree. You see, I made a collage of my top 8 favorite pictures of you from your first year and half of them are from the last two months. Yes. You only get better. 

This first year has been the. most. exhausting. year. of. my. life. It has also been beautiful. When you were first born, I had no idea how to nurse or how to give a baby a bath, nor did I understand the magnitude of how fast a baby grows and develops in the first year of life. You started out as a baby who was completely dependent on me for survival, and now, you are a toddler who would prefer to walk than to be carried. You also know how to use a brush, a phone, a fork, and how to sign "please" and "all done." 

You are amazing. And with that amazingness, you still do things that make me feel frustrated. I hate feeling this way because I love you so very much. I have to remind myself that while here in this life, perfection is still pending and I just have to keep trying. If I can only show that I am a better person today than I was a year ago, I will be grateful. I am reminded of the lyrics from the popular children's song: 

I'm trying to be like Jesus;

I'm following in His ways.

I'm trying to love as He did, in all that I do and say.

At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice, 

But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers, 

Love one another as Jesus loves you.

Try to show kindness in all that you do.

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,

For these are the things Jesus taught.

Sweet baby girl, you aren't going to always make the right choices in your life. But just try to be better today than you were yesterday. Try to follow Jesus. Remember that those around you are generally doing the best they know how. Give them grace. Especially to your mother. I will do my very best too, and together, we will do great things. 

I am honored to be your mother and I love you so much. 

Happy Birthday, angel face.

Love, 

Mom