7 Ways to Cultivate Self-Love

For the past month, I have been thinking about how to cultivate self-love. I think it is an important topic that many can relate to. Throughout this post I am going to highlight some tips that have worked for me to cultivate my personal self-love. 

Back in September, my husband and I went to the Kansas City Temple for a date night and I asked Marshall to take some pictures for me. I didn't know that would mean a whole bunch of candid shots :-). I suppose I don't mind much, since they do a pretty nice job of capturing the mood I was in. I hope you enjoy the pictures and tips.

1. Name your inner "mean" voice. It's that voice that tells you you're ugly, fat, not good enough, (fill in the blank), even when they are obvious lies. This voice gets much of its motivation from negative media. I named mine Bertha. Isn't that an awesome name? The fun part about naming the mean voice is that it often makes you laugh when you say it because it is just ridiculous.  Having a name for the mean voice also allows you to disconnect it from who you really are so that you don't take it personally, which allows for quicker change to listening to who you really are.

2. Keep a brag notebook. I have a small green notebook on my nightstand that I write in every night. This is different than my regular journal. In this notebook I jot down a sentence about how I "won" that day. What did I do that cultivated self-love? Did you laugh more? Did you compliment your body? Did you allow yourself to rest instead of exercise when your body needed the rest? Or did you just have to trust someone because you were having a rough day? It doesn't matter what it is because going to bed on a positive note really helps.

3. Take lots of pictures. Pictures capture the joyous moments. It allows you to go back and think, "It really wasn't that bad," or "look how far I've come," or even to remember the glow of your inner love shining through that day. Taking pictures helps open up opportunities for happy memories to be made. Just as in the example of these pictures, the pictures don't have to be good quality to cultivate happiness and love. 

4. Recognize all that you do. A real human emotion is feeling like you're not good enough and comparing yourself to others. To remedy this, take a step back, grab your brag notebook, and write a list of things you do each day. Even though you may feel like you are lacking and "don't do enough," after writing the list of things you actually do, you will probably feel so much better. It will give you a sense of accomplishment and peace that you are enough for that moment. 

5. Surround yourself with positive people. This past week I met up with a dear friend from Alaska who was visiting Kansas. During our 3 hour visit, I felt extremely happy and positive about myself and my life. This friend never once complained about herself, which made it easy for me to not complain about myself. When we were shopping and I made a comment, she didn't say I was wrong or shouldn't feel that way, but she acknowledged it and then moved on. No emotions attached. It's so important to be around good people who understand self-love. 

6. Take a nap or go to bed. It is so much more difficult for me to be nice to myself when I am tired. Honor your energy levels and listen to your body. 

7. Do something fun for someone else. Service is often praised for easing self-pity, but sometimes service can be daunting and the last thing you want to do when you're not feeling too well about yourself. For this reason, I think if you begin by doing a service that is fun for another person, it will open up your motivation to do more. Last week I helped out with a baby shower for my cute friend. It was simple, yet I felt like a made a small difference. All service doesn't require a shovel and work gloves.