A Week Without Facebook or Instagram

Disclaimer: I have nothing against Facebook or other social media sites. I have enjoyed them for many years and see their benefits, especially in keeping in contact with the many friends and family I have around the world. 

Last week I did something crazy: I went without Facebook and Instagram for an entire 7 days. It had just become too much of a trigger for me and I needed a way to reset my brain and emotions.

For years I would go online and catch up on what my friends and family were doing, feeling the excitement over their good news of marriage, baby, graduation, new home decor, or an amazing meal they ate.  I would also cry as I saw my loved ones go through trials and hardships. Because I lived so far from everyone for a few years, I was so grateful for an easy way to keep in contact. In this way, Facebook and Instagram has been a big blessing for me. 

Summer morning in Kansas while I was reading and pondering early last week.

However, lately I have needed to spend some time focusing on my own feelings and my own needs, in a very non-selfish way, if that makes sense...without the new tendency to compare my weaknesses with other people's strengths. As many of you know from earlier posts, these past six months have been full of emotional experiences that have really tested my mettle, namely recovering from a restrictive eating disorder, getting pregnant, and then overcoming a miscarriage. It's exhausting just thinking about it all! 

I really learned a lot this past week as I resisted the urge to click on the tempting icons on my phone's screen every hour.  The tendency I had to go over to Facebook or Instagram for a "quick look" while I was waiting for a page to load or before bed was a lot more prominent than I had realized. It was amazing how many times throughout the day I would catch myself with the desire to peruse my feed and see the latest posts. Without constantly checking on the latest posts this past week, I was able to feel strength through realizing all the many great things that I do each day without seeing how I measured up to other people. I am still working on a positive self body image as I allow my body to be its natural shape and size, and trying my very best to eat whenever I feel hungry. I am the largest I have ever been, but that is okay. When I was away from social media for a week, I was more confident in my shape and size.

Staying off for a week was also great in my emotional healing from my miscarriage and preparing myself for future pregnancy.  It seemed as though every day prior to my experiment, I would check my news feed and there would be a new baby announcement or gender reveal. I am sure it has always been a prominent thing, or maybe my friends are just all reaching that stage in their lives. It used to not be a big deal for me when I would see these posts...in fact, I would feel very excited for them! But just as seasons come and go, now is just a good time for me to relax, be still, and stop focusing on what others have that I am yearning for. (*I am so happy for all the new moms out there, despite what I just wrote. I promise. And the happy news that I always see, truly is happy. Thank you!*)

There is a great deal of truth in working hard to obtain what you want. However, sometimes it is good to stop. relax. and allow God to guide the way. For too long I was trying to force things my way. I would get frustrated when others had what I wanted (e.g.,"perfect" body, baby).  So last week I stopped. I took a step back. and I waited. I learned and gained a whole lot more about myself and my many, many blessings by just listening to my thoughts and impressions. No comparing. Just loving myself the way I was intended to be.

Now you're probably wondering what I am going to do with my Facebook and Instagram accounts. They're not going anywhere, at least for the time being. I will still check my accounts periodically to see my notifications and my family's pages and specific friends who I hold dear. It's the time we live in and I just can't bare to not be connected with those I love. But I will go on when I want to and for a purpose, not mindless perusing out of habit. I will use Tender Mercies to share the latest photos, stories, and thoughts from my life so when you want to know what is going on in my life, you have access. But don't be afraid to call or text or stop by. I love in-person relationships just as much, probably more. :)