Allowing my Sister to Grow Up

Road tripping!

My little sister came to visit me for a week this past month--and the cool thing is that it didn't take any convincing to get her to come. But while I was beyond excited for her arrival (which was delayed by 6 hours due to car problems), it took me a good while to actually adjust to the fact that my sister was not a little girl anymore. No, she wasn't the 15-year-old pony-tail wearing naive sister who would do anything I, her big sister, led her to do.

Taking Selfies before it was cool.

November 2005

Adjusting to a New Normal

When she arrived, I saw the 23-year-old returned missionary, Europe traveler, college student working on her Master's degree in accounting, and beautiful young lady who wore her hair in a stylish yet messy bun with a light coating of mascara on her eyes and matching jewelry. My sister wasn't little anymore. 

When your car breaks down, all you can do is act silly and wait for the husband (or Best Bud in my sister's case) to arrive.

It really sounds silly to think that I struggled for the first little bit we were together. It was as though I didn't know how to act around her because now we were on the same playing field--we were both adults. Luckily, my sister is just a doll and is ever forgiving and just loved me through my emotions. Our week together turned into a joyous reunion of two sisters, best friends since childhood, who had spent the past 7 years doing our own thing. It was finally time that we create a memory together again. 

The Importance of "Pillow-Talk"

During her visit to Kansas, we drove up north to Iowa on the 21st of August to visit the people she served during her mission for our church from 2013-2015. The happiest moments of the trip for me were our "pillow talks." We would spend the days visiting so many people and would return exhausted in the evening to one of her friends' homes for the night. It was inevitable that we would talk for an hour or more, with the lights out and the summer night sounds outside. These moments allowed me to remember that we were still sisters and our bond was not something that could be broken by a few years of separation due to college, trips, and marriage. The belly laughter we would find ourselves in after watching old family videos and silly YouTube clips erased all the self-doubt of whether or not I was a "good-enough" sister. I was a "good-enough" sister because I was present. 

Lamoni, Iowa

Allowing My Sister to Grow Up

Once I allowed myself to be ME and my sister to be HER, there wasn't any self-doubt. This is the beauty of family relationships. While we may have many similarities and an eternal bond that yokes us together, each family member is absolutely unique and beautiful. It's kind of amazing that my little sister--who when I was young I thought would follow after my examples--has now traveled the world, forged lifetime friendships with people in Iowa, and is now working on her Master's degree from BYU. All the while I have created adventures of my own. 

Hanging out on Mass street in Lawrence.

Still accidentally matching just like the old days!

I guess my example wasn't all wasted in the end, for we are still friends and dear kindred spirits, to use a phrase from the beloved Anne of Green Gables series. It was an example of love and friendship, trust and acceptance. 

Acceptance for who she is becoming and acceptance of myself for who I am. 

You can grow up little sister. 

But you'd better keep me in the loop of what's going on. ;-) 

I love you forever.

Flying in a private plane for the first time.

22 August 2015

Osceola, Iowa