The Other Side of Things

(Just a random picture from July at a church BBQ & 5K)

Compared to many couples, I feel like Marshall and I are pretty traditional. On the one hand, he goes to work everyday, makes sure the cars are running properly, works with the youth in our church, and still has time to open the door for me and tell me he loves me. I, on the other hand, only coach ice skating part time so that I have time to make breakfast, lunch, and dinner for him, keep the house & laundry tidy, and to be available whenever he may need me. I probably should add a disclaimer here: Marshall is by no means incompetent of taking care of himself. We see our roles as husband and wife as separate but equal. I could work full time if I wanted to, and he would support me. Some might think I should be furthering my career because we don't have children yet, but I have thought long and hard about my working full time, and feel like it would not strengthen our marriage if I had a full time job. That said, I love being a "housewife" who also coaches part time (and I still get to use what I learned from college).  I like that I can take care of my husband's needs so that he can have the energy and time to further his career and make himself the best soldier he can be. It is tiring working full time and doing everything else! So I'm glad I can help him.

Well, on Tuesday, August 28, 2012, I worked at the polls for the Alaskan state primaries. I only saw him at 5:30am when he left for work, and I didn't come home until 9pm. I really enjoyed working with the ladies at the polls, serving my community (though I did get paid), and doing something a little bit different. However, we were SO excited to see each other that night!! Usually I have dinner planned for him when he gets home from work, but this time, he had made a delicious dinner, set the table, and had all the dishes from the day washed. WOW!

He prepared chicken with a homemade dill sauce, seasoned jasmine rice, veggies, and grapes. It was so tasty, but even more so because I didn't have to make it! I never quite understood why moms loved it when their kids made dinner for them. But now I do! During dinner he had commented how it wasn't exactly how he had hoped it would taste, and that it was just mediocre. I didn't think anything of the sort. And then he pointed out to me that I was feeling exactly what he feels every day. I am too critical about my cooking (something I am working on) and often apologize for it not being perfect. Well on this night, I understood why it isn't good to be critical. This is what Marshall told me: "you are serving me by making me dinner. How can I be upset at you if you are serving me?" Ya, I guess I don't need to always apologize for my meals! It would have driven me crazy if he had been so critical about the dinner he had made that night. It was so good, and felt so good to not have to think about what I would prepare for dinner at 9pm after working nearly 15 hours.

I learn so much every day! I marvel that my dear husband still is so patient with me, and for that I am grateful. Being a wife is such a wonderful and challenging task, and I am grateful I finally had the chance to understand how it feels to be in Marshall's shoes.

From this experience, I have set a new goal: be more positive and allow myself to make mistakes. :-)

And... 

Remember to look at a situation from another person's perspective.