I left a piece of my heart in Fairbanks

As I sit here in my hotel room in Yukon, Canada, my heart is full of gratitude and peace about the past two and a half years, though I feel like part of my heart has been ripped out and left in Fairbanks, Alaska. It was such a wonderful life, my first home with my husband.

A final picture in front of our cabin in Fairbanks as we were driving out. I will miss it dearly.
And for the record, it was 9:45 AM at the time the photo was taken. I will miss that too.

It was in Fairbanks that I grew up, got to know my husband, improved my relationship with Christ, and learned to truly love the outdoors. I also had opportunities coaching skating that I would not have been able to have if the skating program were larger. During the good-bye/appreciation dinner the skating club put together this past weekend for my colleague and I, I realized how incredibly lucky I was to have been able to coach SO many amazing skaters and work with great parents. I have to admit that there were times when I desired more available ice time or more training resources for me and my skaters. However, in the big picture, I was given a lot. I was given the opportunity to take one of my skaters to Regionals in Washington twice, be a coach for the Arctic Winter Games, and coach an off-ice training class for the skaters on a weekly basis. All of these opportunities were challenging, but they helped me grow as a coach and person.

Coaching at Regionals this past October

It was also in Fairbanks where I learned to love myself for who I am, not who I think I should be. I have learned to trust in the Lord's timing, remembering that He is in charge. So much freedom has come into my life from this.

I have always said that it is good to live far away from family for a period of time. Because of this blessing, I have been able to forge friendships that have been strong. When you live so far from family, you learn to lean on others as you would family, and you become stronger. There were women in Fairbanks who I leaned on and loved as my sisters. Their emotional support over the past few years means more than I can express. Thank you.

There have been many nights over the past 2.5 years where I have cried because I haven't been blessed with children yet, but looking back, I wouldn't have changed a thing. Because we didn't have kids in Alaska, we were able to take hikes and camping trips whenever we wanted to, run in races on a moment's notice, or drive down to Anchorage to see family without the added strain of an infant. But the biggest blessing from not having kids in this chapter of my life is that I was able to fall in love with the children I taught in nursery at church and those I coached at the rink. I love their innocence, their smiles, and the desire of my nursery kids to sit on my lap and snuggle. Then, at the end of the day, I could give the kids back to their parents. It was a pretty sweet deal.

Two adorable skaters I will truly miss.

It Fairbanks, I got used to being spoiled. Spoiled with living in a winter wonderland beyond explanation. We could see the Northern Lights in our backyard. Seeing wildlife was just a normal daily occurrence. And having hundreds of miles of nothing was breath-taking. All of these experiences will be a part of me forever.

We saw mountain goats in Yukon today!! Aren't they SO cute?

I am moving back to the States this week. It is the right thing for us now, and I will faithfully go with my husband so that he can start school. I am so excited for the future. It is bright.

But someday I will return to find the piece of my heart that I have left in Alaska.