Dear Adelai |12 Months| : Perfection Is Still Pending

Dearest Adelai,

365 days have now passed since your miraculous birth. It was a day that will forever be etched into my mind, with the memories of the painful exhaustion of childbirth becoming more and more fuzzy and somehow, being replaced by the beautiful memories of a newborn. The smell. The tiny body. The clean slate of a new life and endless possibilities.

I kind of miss that.

But Grandpa Whipple says that "kids only get better." I would have to agree. You see, I made a collage of my top 8 favorite pictures of you from your first year and half of them are from the last two months. Yes. You only get better.

This first year has been the. most. exhausting. year. of. my. life. It has also been beautiful. When you were first born, I had no idea how to nurse or how to give a baby a bath, nor did I understand the magnitude of how fast a baby grows and develops in the first year of life. You started out as a baby who was completely dependent on me for survival, and now, you are a toddler who would prefer to walk than to be carried. You also know how to use a brush, a phone, a fork, and how to sign "please" and "all done."

You are amazing. And with that amazingness, you still do things that make me feel frustrated. I hate feeling this way because I love you so very much. I have to remind myself that while here in this life, perfection is still pending and I just have to keep trying. If I can only show that I am a better person today than I was a year ago, I will be grateful. I am reminded of the lyrics from the popular children's song:

I'm trying to be like Jesus;

I'm following in His ways.

I'm trying to love as He did, in all that I do and say.

At times I am tempted to make a wrong choice,

But I try to listen as the still small voice whispers,

Love one another as Jesus loves you.

Try to show kindness in all that you do.

Be gentle and loving in deed and in thought,

For these are the things Jesus taught.

Sweet baby girl, you aren't going to always make the right choices in your life. But just try to be better today than you were yesterday. Try to follow Jesus. Remember that those around you are generally doing the best they know how. Give them grace. Especially to your mother. I will do my very best too, and together, we will do great things.

I am honored to be your mother and I love you so much.

Happy Birthday, angel face.

Love,

Mom

Comments

Hoping for a Rainbow

I'm really not sure if I ever thought this day would come. The day that I made it past 13 weeks pregnant without losing the baby. #miracle. I know I am not out of the woods yet, and honestly, when are we really? I am just trying to live every day with gratitude for the life inside of me, living with hope for the future. Part of me wanted to wait until next week, when I was past 14 weeks and officially in the 2nd trimester, but I couldn't wait any longer. I've been getting a little thick in the middle, which is getting more difficult to hide, and I feel like I haven't been able to be completely honest with friends when they would ask, "how are you doing?" All I wanted to talk about was how nauseous I was or how nervous I felt. So now, the news is out, whether or not you already suspected something was up. Seriously though, the 1st trimester is not for the faint of heart! There were many instances when I thought I would lose the baby, but dee...

Grandpa is Always Right | Gender Reveal |

I was hanging out in our rental apartment in Salzburg, Austria with my sister when my dad walked out of his bedroom and announced that I was having a girl. I was only 11 weeks along at that point and while I was wishfully hoping for a girl, I was preparing myself for a boy. His strong conviction of the gender of our child without any hints from an ultrasound surprised me. My dad seems to always be right about things, so I secretly hoped he was right this time too. Today during my scan, my favorite sonographer announced that we were having a girl. Grandpa is always right. I never imagined our family starting with a baby boy. I don't know why, but a baby girl seems to fit just perfectly. Now I just have to keep calm and stay healthy for 19 more weeks.

Learning to Speak Like an Alaskan

Denali in the background No one wants to feel like a newbie, so a common practice before traveling to a new city or country is to learn the language of that particular place. Well, when my Aunt Joan picked me up from the airport last December when I first arrived in Alaska, one of the first things she told me was if I didn't want to sound like a tourist, I needed to refer to Mt. Mckinley (the tallest mountain in North America, located some 120 miles south of Fairbanks) as Denali . Denali is the native Athabaskan name for the mountain, and means "The High One." So, from day number one in Alaska, I refered to that majestic mountain as Denali instead of the name I had learned growing up. This is just about what it looked like yesterday morning! Another thing I learned recently is how to say the temperature. I was saying "Gosh it's cold outside because it's negative 30 degrees." But luckily, a kind skating mom...

Tender Mercies

Search This Blog