I'm really not sure if I ever thought this day would come. The day that I made it past 13 weeks pregnant without losing the baby. #miracle.
I know I am not out of the woods yet, and honestly, when are we really? I am just trying to live every day with gratitude for the life inside of me, living with hope for the future.
Part of me wanted to wait until next week, when I was past 14 weeks and officially in the 2nd trimester, but I couldn't wait any longer. I've been getting a little thick in the middle, which is getting more difficult to hide, and I feel like I haven't been able to be completely honest with friends when they would ask, "how are you doing?" All I wanted to talk about was how nauseous I was or how nervous I felt. So now, the news is out, whether or not you already suspected something was up.
Seriously though, the 1st trimester is not for the faint of heart! There were many instances when I thought I would lose the baby, but deep down inside, I knew it would make it. Quite honestly, I knew I was pregnant 2 days after conception, which is pretty dang early. I kept it from my husband until I was 4 weeks along because I just didn't want to tell him if I was incorrect.
He's been a rock star during these past three months. Cooking dinner for me when the thought of walking into the kitchen made me queasy, cheering me on during the days when all I could manage was to put on real clothes and take naps all day, and taking me out to eat because homemade food was just "gross." It was rough. It was as though everything I had once loved doing, i.e, yoga, cooking, being busy, all turned into things I just. couldn't. handle. But I've been okay and I've learned to be patient with myself, showing self-compassion and allowing things to be different. Because things are different now.
It's interesting to me that we conceived literally 10 days after I taught my last skating lesson, and 16 days after I completed my 200-hour yoga teacher training. It's as though my body was waiting until I wasn't going to have big responsibilities. I needed to be still. I needed to allow my body to relax and do it's job. I needed to let go.
It's been a beautiful, hard, and eye-opening journey. We are looking forward to the next 6 months with joyful hearts.
You two are just so perfecthat !!!! Hope this time Your Babyou Has come to you two !!!! Hope and pray if I can that it's your Baby this time !!!! Stay positive and take it easy... stay home and eat healthy a lot and enjoy relaxing while you can before baby comes...after you won't really for some while..... it's Awesome beingame pregnant! Couldn't say anything before But wait till you feel Your baby moving !!!!! Which should happen any time soon !!!... awww ?I'm sooooo Happy for you ....please stay and be positive...it is Your baby..it is your Baby's time to come ....
ReplyDeleteThank you so much! I can't wait to feel it move! So many wonderful things are happening. It is so crazy. I'm grateful that I can take some time just to relax and be quiet.
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ReplyDeleteI don't think the nervousness DOES go away. But you've waited and wished and hoped and you are entitled to those nerves and fears and every thought and feeling each mother-to-be experiences. You are also allowed to complain and wine when it gets hard and sleeping is difficult. You've earned it. It won't make you ungrateful, it makes you normal (sharing because I went through the same thought process and felt bad I want completely rainbows and unicorns of gratitude each and every moment). Many congratulations to you!
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I really appreciate your words of encouragement! I know you understand 100% or more and it really feels good to be validated! You seemed so calm during Sloan's pregnancy, I was in awe!! Thank you so much!
DeleteOK ok, it was all happy and good until I saw this picture of my beautiful baby niece or nephew. Water-freaking-waterworks. I love you guys so much!
ReplyDeleteYou should have seen Marshall's face in the office when we were getting the scan done!! Priceless.
DeleteBest news EVER! I'm so incredibly happy for you. When Josh came home, I looked at him with this stupid looking, super happy grin on my face and said very loudly, Jenessa's pregnant!!!!!!!! <--- yeah with THAT many exclamation points on it. Love the news and love you guys!
ReplyDeleteAwe!! It makes me so happy that you and everyone has so much faith in this! We love you all!
Deletecongratulations jenessa so excited for you
ReplyDeleteThank you, Alli!
DeleteIt's so exciting isn't it jenessa ?!:)������
DeleteFor sure it is!
Deletejenessa all of our cousins are expecting and pregnant and also guess what jenessa when i go back to las vegas pretty soon i'll be starting the Pathways Program
DeleteI am so happy for you both! It is so tough that when you are so sick you feel like you can't tell anyone yet. That is when you need help the most. If you think of anything you need please call/text! I can bring you some lunch or something. Hopefully you will start to feel better soon!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Erin!! You're so nice!! I appreciate your friendship.
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