It is so joyful that my love for cooking runs deep. Deeper than an eating disorder of my past. For a while I was nervous about whether or not I truly loved to cook or if it stemmed from my need to control everything that I ate during my late teens and early twenties--for this is a common facet to eating disorders. But, much to my relief, I found this "cover page" to an old composition notebook I had made when I was 11, intended to fill with my favorite recipes. The date was September 10th, 2001, far before I went through my struggle with orthorexia.
So now I know I can say that I love cooking, for I proclaimed it in that simple notebook 15 years ago. I'm no Martha Stewart, but who cares? The joy that comes from making a successful batch of homemade tortillas after completely messing up a loaf of bread the day before from over-kneading is exactly what I need to keep trying the next day. I've had a lot of failures, but even more successes.
I remember baking with my Grandma Whipple. It was 2010 and I was at her sweet home in Mesa, Arizona while we made spelt bread together. She had become a little more forgetful by that time and called me after I returned to Missouri a week later to thank me for helping her make the best batch of bread. She said she was trying to make bread again but it wasn't as easy as when I was helping.
Some days now while I am baking I think of her and pray that she will bless my loaves and help them to taste good, even though she is in Heaven. I think of her often.
There is a lot of my Grandma Christensen in me as well, such as my unquenchable love for roasted beets as well as any vegetable. Grandma C loved beets too, of which I didn't know until last month when I was telling my mom about how much I adored this root vegetable. I also have a passion for herbal medicines, something she was interested in too.
How funny it is that although I did not spend a lot of time with my grandmas while I was growing up, there is still so much of them in me. My love for cooking truly runs deeper than the need to be a perfect wife. My love for cooking stems from my love for my grandmas and a love for my future family.
And I love how you figured out all the sections... Desserts 1-15 (first things first), Snacks 16-31 (next best things next), Main Meals 32-62 (well, you did leave the largest section to that), Add-on recipes 63-90 (I am impressed) and Notes 91-93. Looks like you thought of everything. Delightful!
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