Skip to main content

Running Again

This morning I went running. First time in over a year. 
Last night I called my mom because I needed someone to listen to me dump all of my emotions on. I've really been at a pretty low place recently and I was at the end of my rope. After feeling like I had no one to really talk to for a few days, I was so grateful that my mom was there to listen to me in a non-judgmental and loving manner.  During our discussion I told her how I didn't feel like myself nor was I comfortable in my own skin. I was craving to go running again, especially with Marshall. Right after I explained these feelings to her, she replied by telling me that she had been feeling for a month that I should start running again. I was shocked to here these words come from my own mother, but peace swept over my body. 

I stopped running a year ago so that I could get my cycle back. That endeavor was successful, and I attribute a lot of the success to my not running. However, ever since the miscarriage 2 months ago, I have been battling bouts of depression and grief. This is not something I really wanted to admit, but I think it is the truth. I need to start running again for a few reasons:
  • My mind and body would greatly benefit from the endorphins that come from running.
  • I want a strong body and heart so that I can be active for my entire life. 
  • Running is a love of mine that I have pushed aside for too long. It's time to rekindle that love. 
  • Running gives me a chance to meditate and be calm. 
I am not running to burn calories or lose weight. I am running to help my mental health and to be strong in body and spirit. On my run this morning I ran without a watch or measuring how far I went. I know for a fact that I didn't even run 2 miles. That didn't matter. What mattered was that I did something good for my body and spirit and it felt GOOD.



Labels:

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Hoping for a Rainbow

I'm really not sure if I ever thought this day would come. The day that I made it past 13 weeks pregnant without losing the baby. #miracle.  I know I am not out of the woods yet, and honestly, when are we really? I am just trying to live every day with gratitude for the life inside of me, living with hope for the future.  Part of me wanted to wait until next week, when I was past 14 weeks and officially in the 2nd trimester, but I couldn't wait any longer. I've been getting a little thick in the middle, which is getting more difficult to hide, and I feel like I haven't been able to be completely honest with friends when they would ask, "how are you doing?" All I wanted to talk about was how nauseous I was or how nervous I felt. So now, the news is out, whether or not you already suspected something was up.  Seriously though, the 1st trimester is not for the faint of heart! There were many instances when I thought I would lose the baby, but dee...
17 comments
Read more

Grandpa is Always Right | Gender Reveal |

I was hanging out in our rental apartment in Salzburg, Austria with my sister when my dad walked out of his bedroom and announced that I was having a girl. I was only 11 weeks along at that point and while I was wishfully hoping for a girl, I was preparing myself for a boy. His strong conviction of the gender of our child without any hints from an ultrasound surprised me. My dad seems to always be right about things, so I secretly hoped he was right this time too. Today during my scan, my favorite sonographer announced that we were having a girl. Grandpa is always right. I never imagined our family starting with a baby boy. I don't know why, but a baby girl seems to fit just perfectly. Now I just have to keep calm and stay healthy for 19 more weeks.
12 comments
Read more

The Love of a Cousin

Swimming Babes-2006 " What do I do when I get pregnant again?"   I asked. My sweet cousin was on the other end of the phone call when I sought out her wisdom and support.  3 years younger than me, she is in her 3rd pregnancy and ready to deliver her first baby in less than 2 months. She was the first person I wanted to talk to when I miscarried the first time, just 2 months after her ectopic pregnancy back in the spring of 2015. For some reason, I just had this connection to her, like maybe because she was born in the same generation as me and going through similar circumstances, that she would understand. Now, 13 months after my first miscarriage, I find myself going through mental exercises every day to prepare myself to trust my body for my 4th and hopefully successful pregnancy; part of that exercise today was to call my cousin up and have a nice chat about our lives and try to get some insights. We were both strong-headed children growing up--often getting ups...
Post a Comment
Read more