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It's Getting Real | 17 Weeks |



I knelt beside my bed this past weekend, talking with my husband, when all of a sudden I felt a gentle "poke, poke" inside of me. Could it really be? I had been anticipating feeling the baby's first movements for the past week or so. I just knew it would be soon, but I didn't want to get my hopes up since many pregnancy websites say that first time moms may not feel movement until close to 25 weeks. I was 16 weeks and 4 days. Well, sure enough, the next day I felt some additional small waves of movement. It wasn't just gas or digestion, for when I listened to the heartbeat with my Doppler, I was able to associate the movement I heard from the speaker with the poking sensation. 

I think I will enjoy these gentle proddings right now before they begin to be larger and more uncomfortable.

As I approach the halfway mark of this pregnancy, I am filled with excitement and the ever deepening realization that I am actually pregnant and have a huge responsibility ahead of me. 

It's kind of scary.

Okay, it's really scary. 

I've never been one to give a job or an assignment half of my effort. I've always aimed to give everything my best, and this child is no different. However, in this case, so much is out of my control. I've literally set aside a vast majority of my hobbies so that I could give 100% of my focus on taking care of myself and this baby. For me, this was the right decision and I do not regret it. But as sleep becomes more difficult (no more tummy sleeping) and my belly becomes more heavy with each passing week, I have to keep reminding myself to trust God and let him be my comfort. 

When doubts creep in and I question  my ability to be a good mother, I've got to remember all of the wonderful friends I have made over the years who have shared with me their strengths. I am strengthened by the examples of all of you. I know God has given me these friends as angels to buoy my spirits and lift me up when the prospects of motherhood seem more daunting than ever before. 



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